You Are Good Enough

In fact, you are more than good enough!

But I know you haven’t been treated that way.

Maybe your family couldn’t treat you that way, because they’d never learned it about themselves.

Maybe other people treat you as lesser because of something inherent to you.

Maybe you feel like you’ll never quite be good enough as a parent, at work, as a friend, as a partner, as a regular human, because of trauma or abuse. 

It’s natural for our brains to try to make sense of trauma by looking for some way to justify it. The problem is, there is no way to justify it.

So we’re left looking in the mirror. Thinking there must be something bad about ourselves that caused others to mistreat us.

This very natural belief causes a lot of emotional pain. It hurts to think you deserved to be hurt. 

Let me say that again. 

It hurts to think you deserved to be hurt. 

[A drawing of a vicious cycle, the arrows pointing to pain and self-blame. In the center is a brief illustration of what self-blame sounds like: "I shouldn't.... If I'd just... I always...."]

It’s a vicious cycle. The emotional pain leads to self-blame. When we start to believe that anything about ourselves could justify that pain, we start to be on the lookout for any reason someone might hurt us.

We tell ourselves things like, “I shouldn’t do this. I always do that. If I’d only done something else….”

That’s stressful. We start second-guessing all these little everyday moments. It’s a kind of hypervigilance.

Which just creates more emotional pain. Which leads us to feel worse about ourselves, and judge ourselves and our actions too harshly: Back to self-blame.

The pain of being blamed, the blame for the pain. It’s a nasty vicious cycle that is always bubbling along in the background, and can suddenly boil over at any moment. 

It makes it really hard to fully trust ourselves. Or anybody else. It can be incredibly isolating. 

And it also hurts to feel like nobody understands. Like nobody else really gets it. Like all your relationships are somewhat superficial, and they wouldn’t love you if they really knew you. Or like they might abandon you at any moment. 

Like you’ll always be kind of… alone. 

[Here's a sketch of the same cycle, expanded. Now the words are in bright red: pain, self-blame, and isolation, each feeding each other more and more as time goes on,]

If you think there must be something about you, something you’ve said or done, that justifies hurting you, you will always be searching. You will always be questioning your own worth.

Because you’re never going to find that one magic thing that you could change to be “good enough” for other people. Or for yourself. 

It doesn’t exist. 

You are already good enough. 

That’s the secret. 

There is nothing lacking or worse or inadequate about you. There never has been, and there never will be. 

That’s a really, really challenging concept to wrap your head around.

And that's why I have an entire course around it.

I know: me and every other self-help author, life coach, and inspirational speaker on the planet!

Here’s the difference.

I’ve bought a lot of books I’ve never read; read a lot of books I’ve never taken action on; and tried a whole lot of different things. I have long since lost interest in any tool or strategy that doesn’t work well for pretty much anybody who tries it. 

I’m a double Virgo. I don’t believe in astrology. (“Well, of course you don’t: you’re a double Virgo!”) But for those who do, that gives you some idea of what I mean when I say this:

I like structure. I like evidence-based modalities. I like reproducible results. And I’m pretty fond of knowing why things work, so that I can troubleshoot them when necessary.

So, I bring all my own years of personal experience to the table. But I also use a framework that I know will let you identify where these beliefs come up in your everyday life, discover where they come from, and destroy crush unlearn find out what’s really true about yourself and your life.

And yes: I promise that you are not going to find out that you’re actually a horrible person.

(But if you did, you would get 110% of your money back.)

What I use is CPT: Cognitive Processing Therapy. 

Don’t confuse it with CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)! I am not a therapist. I am only here to show you how to do what has worked for me.

CPT is one of the”gold standard” treatments for PTSD. It has been used for decades, around the world, to dramatically reduce the effects of trauma and abuse. 

The way it works is that you use it on whatever is currently coming up in your life. It doesn’t matter whether it seems major or minor to you. It doesn’t even really matter whether you know what to focus on yet or not.

The tools you learn will continue working and making things better. Even if you have a line of old traumatic experiences waiting in the wings for you to work through. Even if you just feel like a tangled ball of stress and depression, with no discernible cause.

Here's the basic info.
Five weeks.
All online.
Videos 2x a week:
teaching you new skills.
Homework in between:
practicing those skills.

The homework can be as little as a few minutes each day.

We’ll meet on Zoom once a week, and chat via text, on Discord, once a week.

If you can’t make all of those, no problem. I’ll send out the recordings.

You’ll be able to share, ask questions, get support, and build community on Discord throughout each week. 

And as long into the future as you like.

You’ll start getting great information via email, and be able to join the Discord, well before class starts on Wednesday, November 10th. 

Just to make sure you can see how it’s helping you along the way, I’ll also have a self-assessment you can take at the beginning and end of the course, and as often as you like in between. 

When you can put a number to how you feel — and, especially, when you gain some power over how that number changes — it becomes a whole lot easier to get excited about doing this work.

Flash sale! The price is normally $899 up front, or $175 per month for six months. But right now, you can pay in full for $595. Or pay for four months, at $150 a month.

If the course price would make it hard for you to pay for food, housing, or utilities (or if it’s already hard), please sign up using the code SCHOLARSHIP.

One warning:

CPT is powerful stuff, but so are fear, shame, and avoidance!

If you’re anything like me, your brain will sometimes fight back by telling you none of this will help, that you can’t possibly make it to class, or by forgetting the homework and classes completely.

Watch out for that stuff, and share about any struggles you have, so the rest of us can help.

Remember, it’s only for five weeks. And I’m here to help you with every aspect of it!

Let me know if you have any questions at all.